Actually, malfoypatriarch has been thinking. In her LJ she came up with some Marauder/Death Eater parallels. From there, my brain started bouncing around, yelling to be heard.
Firstly, I don't mean to offend any Snape/Black, Snape/Potter [jnr and snr], Snape/Lupin, or Snape/Pettigrew shippers. I do not mean to offend anyone.
Where are the grounds for these ships? To search for Snape slash now, you will find more Snarry and Snupin than anything else. It would appear that they are the favourite Snape-newbie-fans pairings. Is it the appeal of making Snape repent?
Possibly. There are FAR too many repenting Snapes running around out there, in all their OOC glory. For slightly older writers, probably not, as many of the fics seem to be based on PWP or close to it.
Then is it to see the dynamics of a Gryffindor/Slytherin relationship? There is a hell of a lot of Gryff/Slyth out there, counting Harry/Draco alone. It's a hugely over done pairing, though there are some fics lurking there that I'll read.
The dynamics of such a relationship are.. interesting, certainly. But there never seems to be much soul-searching. In the case of Snupin especially, and to some extent Snarry, it's a crush Snape's been holding since childhood.
But does that match with Snape's psyche? Here are four boys that are making his life *hell*. They're popular, he's probably jealous of them. But however fine the line is between love and hate, the Marauders are beyond hatred for Snape. There's a lot of passion there, yes, but it's all negative. Snape is one huge ball of repressed rage, torment and utter, utter hatred. You see that all unravel in the Shrieking Shack.
So.. Individually, one by one?
To me, Black/Snape is completely unrealistic. Even if Snape did have some form of twisted crush on Black, Black sees Snape as some pathetic, greasy, ugly loser. From Black's point of view, he's 'seeing right through Snape'. Of course, that's just his opinion. Whether it's true or not doesn't bother the ever-arrogant Black.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great big grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."
Black really does not like Snape. And in return, I can't see Snape appreciating seven years of such endearing pleasantries.
Perhaps people believe it doesn't have to be realistic to be good? Alright, I'll give. I'll read something if the writing is good. But I wouldn't be able to ship such a pairing because in the back of my mind, I can see all the hatred Snape spews at Black, and all the disdain and snide comments Black returns. It just wouldn't work - or would end in homicide.
Snape/James seems to run on a similar vein. James plays a major part of Snape's worst memories. He hangs him upside down, embarrasses him - makes people laugh at him. I know, and I think just about everyone does from some point in their life - the burning, sinking, horrible sensation you get when you know that everyone's laughing. And they're laughing at you. Remember your high school tormentor? The popular girl with the perfect smile, whose laughter just spells trouble. Or perhaps the boy with the flashing, dangerous smiles whose always so ready to shove you over in the corridor, sending you sprawling. They all want you in trouble, and you've done nothing. When Potter responds to Lily's question "What's he ever done to you?" his response is -
"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."
Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.
Am I the only one who couldn't formulate a crush on someone who said things about that - about me, whilst I was there. And got laughs for it.
I'd say that would be something to fuel Snape's anger well enough. And if that anger moves onto Harry, then all the Snarry shippers are on a long slog up a very steep hill. True, Potter saves him from Remus, but how many kids do you know would actually, really, truly be capable of murder? I don't think even Sirius had the complete realisation of what would happen when Snape got to the tunnel. And if he did, then.. I can only like him even less than I do now.
Another thing against the Snarry ship is the whole Harry-defeated-Voldemort. Not so bad, you'd think. It's good, it takes out the biggest threat to Snape's existence. Great. Right?
Wrong. Firstly, it builds up another debt to Harry. Snape has been shown to hold ALL his grudges and ALL his debts to an almost obsessive extreme. If this debt alone was not enough to resent Harry's breathing, then there's always the Potter aspect.
James Potter saved him from Remus.
Harry Potter saved him from Voldemort. Seeing a pattern here, anyone? Harry is the one that Snape now has to rely on to rid the world of Voldemort. There is this huge, swirling debt that Snape knows he'll never really be able to repay.
Above that, the 'death' of Voldemort was a messy end to the first war, as far as the spies and the unmentioned heroes were concerned. If there had been a 'Final Battle' in which Voldemort had been banished for good in, then it would have rounded the whole thing off nicely, and Severus would have been allowed to lead a slightly more normal, slightly less embittered life. He would not have had to cower behind Dumbledore's robes for the rest of all times. He would have had some freedom.
I know that this is a very one-dimensional argument, but I'm attempting to take Snape's view on things here. He's a bitter, twisted, ugly (personality wise as well) man. He'd see it, I assume, this way. Severus HATES Harry. In every way, shape and form. It's an inexcusable fact.
And onto the most interesting, from my point of view. I have friends who ship Snupin. I have read some very good Snupin fics. For that matter, I've read some excellent Snarry but I still don't really buy it.
It's hard to argue with. Throughout the entire pensive scene, Lupin does nothing about the bullying of Snape. From James saying 'Snivellus' quietly to Sirius, Remus shuts up. He doesn't laugh with everyone else. He can see that it's just not funny. He's the group's introvert, he understands people. He thinks about things and is the most likely to step into another's shoes. He can see what they're doing to Snape.
But he does nothing.
This is perfectly understandable. If you've got powerful friends, who know things about you that would ruin your life if revealed, then you don't mess about and ruin their fun. It's almost enough that he doesn't say anything, all things considered.
But Snape still hates him. Think about it. Every time he sees the Marauders as one, he's usually being picked on unmercifully. He gets no reprieve. And Lupin is always there. If Snape was a reasonable man, he would think about this and see that Lupin does not approve. But Snape is anything but reasonable, especially when it comes to the marauders - and who can blame him? I certainly can't. It's not like they've ever done anything for him. Even James saving him from a werewolf is cancelled out by the fact that it was Sirius who put him there in the first place, Remus is the werewolf who nearly killed him (another anti-snupin factor).
Snape's mind doesn't work around other people's comfort. In his mind, if Remus really did want the other's to stop picking on him, he'd say something. As he says nothing, then it must mean that he condones such actions, at least on a small scale.
Snupin is the most possible, but even then, it's like... like Umbridge/Fat Lady femme-slash. Mind-bendingly difficult to keep convincingly in canon.
As for Snape/Peter? I love both, but not together. Peter goes with the 'hatred-by-association,' which would not be lessened by the appearance of the rat in the Death Eaters. Snape, I believe, would see Peter with contempt. He's not worth listening to, let alone rutting with.
And that is, quite simply, my views on the Snape/Gryffindor implausibility.